Nesmith Library

I only say this because I love you, how the way we talk can make or break family relationships throughout our lives, Deborah Tannen - (acid-free paper)

In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages -- unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom
Table Of Contents
"I can't even open my mouth" : separating messages from metamessages in family talk -- "Who do you love best? : family secrets, family gossip : taking sides -- A brief interlude I : "Go ahead, treat me like a stranger" -- Fighting for love : connection and control in family arguments -- "I'm sorry, I'm not apologizing" : why women apologize more than men, and why it matters -- "She said," "He said" : gender patterns in family talk -- "You guys are living in the past" : talking with teens -- A brief interlude II : "Call me by my rightful name" -- "I'm still your mother" : mothers and adult children -- "Help me--get out of my way" : sisters and brothers forever -- In-laws and other strangers : mixing families, mixing talk -- Coda : talking families
Literary Form
non fiction
1st ed.
Physical Description
336 p., 24 cm.

Library Locations

  • Nesmith Library

    8 Fellows Road, Windham, NH, 03087, US